The Buddha offered five questions for our reflection in these situations:
[1] "Do I speak at the right time, or not?
[2] Do I speak of facts, or not?
[3] Do I speak gently or harshly?
[4] Do I speak profitable words or not?
[5] "Do I speak with a kindly heart, or inwardly malicious?"*
Additionally, if you are directing a question or comment toward a specific person, it helps to include that person's name at the beginning of your comment.
Enjoy the conversation!
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*"Right Speech: samma vaca", edited by John T. Bullitt. Access to Insight, 12 February 2012, http://www.accesstoinsight.org/ptf/dhamma/sacca/sacca4/samma-vaca/index.html . Retrieved on 9 July 2012.
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